Fetus Joe vs. The World

Fetus Joe Vs. The Word sans narration- final video

2007-12-07T08:55:00.001-05:00

I've decided it's much better without my lame narratiion. My apologies to The Bearded Man. But, if you haven't watched it yet, you're in for a not-as-crappy viewing experience.

Fetus Joe Vs. The Cat

2007-12-02T15:40:00.001-05:00

Click to Play

A reduced version of the full video that will serve as, hopefully, the first episode in a line of Fetus Joe adventures...

COMPLETED VIDEO

2007-11-28T08:22:00.000-05:00

(Video link deleted in deference to an above posting...) And that's it. Enjoy! Looks like a bigger sized version can be seen at http://fetusjoevstheworld.blip.tv/

Almost There...

2007-11-26T09:22:00.001-05:00

All footage has been completed. Sound is the last thing.

Audio

2007-11-05T02:59:00.000-05:00

I mixed a good portion of the audio this morning and afternoon. I am pleased.

Continuing...

2007-10-31T13:04:00.001-04:00

Rumor has it the Great Rossi will manage to slip a little Joe Action into his weekend schedule. So who knows... Maybe I can have this finished within one to two weeks. But don't quote me on that.

Damn You, Beatrice!

2007-10-23T21:22:00.000-04:00

Here's a throwback to 1999. There's not much I can say about it because I didn't have a part in it, so i think I'll let Ben do the talking (writing...?). The text comes from his blog: http://oldredbeak.blogspot.com/ "This off the wall UNCA produced video-musical from 1999, follows the tragic saga of Beatrice and Tonya. Tonya leaves Beatrice's life for college, and after a drinking binge, HE decides to go there and get her back, but Tonya's new college buddies won't let that happen. Watch the hilarity and destruction ensue when two worlds collide in this B-musical monstrosity. Music by the artist and satirist, now G Diddy Long Legs (www.myspace.com/gdiddylonglegs)."

Meanwhile...

2007-10-21T11:16:00.000-04:00

Having had some time to think on it, I've come up with a couple new ideas/bits for the video. I will not share them with you though, dear reader; I need to keep a few surprises a surprise. So, I'm busy putting those together right now, while at the same time creating the sound design in my head so I'll know exactly what I want when it comes time to actually assemble it. In the meantime, here is the image I'm using for the main menu of the dvd. Enjoy.

DVD Tests...

2007-10-15T22:28:00.000-04:00

I've been spending the evening doing dvd-burning tests with yesterday's Rough Cut. First, I worked out the Letterboxing Aspect-Ratio (a success), and then attempted a couple different programs for recording the dvd. Turns out, I can send a 10GB AVI video file to "Sonic MyDVD" and it automatically does a fantastic compression. It looks great! So, when all is said and done, if anyone out there would like a copy of it on DVD, that just might can be arranged. Except for a select few, though, I might ask for a small bit of compensation. DVDs can be expensive.

Rough Cut 10-14-07

2007-10-14T16:45:00.000-04:00

Here's a rough cut of all completed footage, which is all but one shot, but it's here too. I just need a snippet of additional footage, then I can finish the shot and get started on Sound... Enjoy.

The Video Below...

2007-10-08T23:29:00.000-04:00

The video below can be seen in better quality at its' source: http://fetusjoevstheworld.blip.tv/file/417286 The aspect ratio isn't correct there either. I'll correct it in post... I guess letterboxing is the answer.

Fetus Joe Rough Cut 10-08-07

2007-10-08T21:53:00.001-04:00

Click to Play

Here's a cut of all of the completed footage thus far. Not too shabby. Mr. Rossi, take note: This is what we're dealing with...

Progressing...

2007-10-08T12:47:00.000-04:00

I've completed several shots, though there may be some fine-tuning later. Either way, I think I'll string them together in a rough edit tonight, upload it to the ol' YouTube, and post it here. Check back tomorrow.

Last Freakin' Test...

2007-09-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

The footage I shot with Mr. Scholten (a.k.a. Jimmy) a few days ago turned out to be useless grainy video poo. However, I'm trying out some new things that are far superior. This is my final test. Time to get this sucker rollin'. This represents about an hour's worth of work...

Ah yes, HERE we go.

2007-09-24T23:39:00.000-04:00

Here's a new photo-storyboard that I whipped together today. It doesn't give any of the plot away (plot..?), but I hope it at least hints at the visual style...

Painted Joe

2007-09-24T08:15:00.000-04:00

Well, here's the final painted Joe. Also, I'm scrapping any ideas associated with the storyboard I posted a few days ago. An almost entirely imagined conversation with Mr. Rossi convinced me there's a better route for this little video. I hope to get my locations scouted out this afternoon so i can get the new boards drawn up tonight.

Storyboard

2007-09-18T20:49:00.000-04:00

Here's page 2 of the Storyboards. Um, yeah... not too exciting...

Second Screen Test

2007-09-15T20:33:00.000-04:00

Still a little shabby, but I'm confident I can achieve some tracking shots and not have it look too pooptacular. One thing's for certain: the green-screen needs to be a true chroma key green and not just a sheet of green posterboard. Of course, these are just spur-of-the-moment tests; no rigging, no real timing...

Screen Test

2007-09-15T08:12:00.000-04:00

Here's a rough, low-tech screen test for the special effects. Fetus Joe still hasn't been painted, and the effects need some clean-up, and the Video function on this camera is too grainy and pixelated (I plan on using an actual video camera...) but, all in all, it works. Guess i should finally draw out the storyboards.

Fetus Joe is Baked...

2007-09-13T23:51:00.000-04:00

...In the oven! This picture is actually right before baking. But he's out of the oven now and ready for whatever painting is necessary. My next post will probably be some special effects tests. Check back in a few days.

Screw the Cartoons...

2007-09-11T23:44:00.000-04:00

I'm gonna make a movie instead! It's mostly an outline in my head with most of the shots planned out (in my head), but I'm waiting to storyboard it until I'm sure I've come up with all the weirdness I can muster. THEN I'll storyboard it. So, check here every now and then to see the updates and progress shots. First up: The beginnings of live-action Fetus Joe. (Ah, sweet, sweet Sculpey...)

Random "Work" Nonsense

2007-09-06T12:56:00.000-04:00

I whipped these videos together for the official blog of my workplace. If you'd like to see just what the heck they're in reference to, here's a link to the other blog: http://vastage.wordpress.com/ Everyone featured in the videos are my co-workers and/or lovers. Enjoy!

More Cartoons Soon.

2007-08-01T17:34:00.000-04:00

If anyone really cares. In the meantime, here's another restored photo. My favorite, I think.

Summers Wedding Photoshop

2007-07-10T22:34:00.000-04:00

I'm currently working on the In-Laws' Wedding Pictures with Photoshop to make some larger prints. The originals are all only 4.5 x 4.5 inches and have suffered horrible fading and discolorization while residing in a small album book sice 1973. Here's a sample of before-and-after. Not perfect, I imagine, but still kinda neat. Before: After:

Tagging...

2007-07-10T21:58:00.000-04:00

Heather has "Tagged" me for the "10 Weird Things". I simply have to list 10 weird things about myself. 1. In Elementary School, before recess one day, I announced to the class that I was changing my name to Luke Skywalker. 2. When i first had to wear glasses full time (4th Grade?), I cried to myself saying that Luke Skywalker didn't have to wear glasses... 3. I have a freakish Pet Peeve concerning proper grammar. I REALLY hate it when people say/write things like "This is Steve and I in Oslo..." It's "me". "ME"!!!!! 4. My Pinky Toe on my right foot is strangly arched and will eventually burst forth from the shoe. As a result, my shoes generally only last a year or so. 5. The Wife and I have both had reconstructive jaw surgery. 6. My Pinky Fingers are very short and low on my hands. Gloves NEVER fit. 7. When we got our first VCR (Christmas '89), my brother and I watched Tim Burton's "Batman" every day the following Summer vacation. 8. I passed my kidney stone while at the movie theatre watching "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". A few days ago I FINALLY got to see the scene I missed. I Netflixed it specially for that purpose. 9. I love Columbo. In Undergrad, I went through a series of raincoats trying to find one that was Just Right. Columbo was on A&E most mornings after my first class... 10. I hate MySpace chain bulletins that begin with phrases like "Okay everybody, this is just to see who's paying attention"... I wouldn't respond kindly to that sort of condescension in person. Why is it acceptable in cyberspace?

The Mountain Lion vs. The Can Opener.

2007-07-04T19:33:00.000-04:00

I listen to the BBC Newshour most mornings while driving The Boy to Daycare and then to work, so I've been hearing the daily reports on the kidnapped BBC reporter Alan Johnston, the BBC's man-on-the-ground in Gaza. The suicide-belt video a couple weeks ago was alarming indeed, but happily, he was released yesterday. While listening to the Newshour this morning while going on a short roadtrip, one could almost feel the Joy at the BBC pouring through the radio. Happy day.

The Aardvark vs. The Book

2007-07-03T14:42:00.000-04:00

The air-conditioning is out for the entire Wells Theatre right now while it is being serviced. So here I am working in a windowless, airless room. Pantsless, too. Damn.

Attack of the Bubbles!

2007-07-01T23:57:00.000-04:00

I took these pictures this evening. Just thought they were neat. No bubbles were harmed...

Eat Your Vegetables.

2007-07-01T18:24:00.000-04:00

Early in June I put up a CraigsList posting about an "Amateur Cartoonist Looking For Opportunities". Just to see if anyone would like for me to draw or design some weirdness for a few bucks... Someone responded this afternoon, and only a few minutes ago I emailed him some Fetus Joe sketches (and some Scene Design renderings, for good measure). If only there was a way to warn him.

Fetus Joe... In Love!

2007-06-30T22:33:00.000-04:00

Here's a nice review of what is currently my favorite cd, Mick Harvey's "Two of Diamonds". The review is from the music review website "Delusions of Adequacy". http://www.adequacy.net/review.php?reviewID=7818 "Mick Harvey is a well-travelled musical journeyman of the highest order, having been Nick Cave’s most loyal lieutenant since the late-‘70s (in The Boys Next Door, The Birthday Party and currently The Bad Seeds), a regular member of the likeminded Crime & The City Solution from the mid-‘80s to mid-‘90s and an occasional assistant to PJ Harvey (amongst others). With such demanding paymasters we could have easily understood if Harvey had never found the time or need to divert his considerable talents into any solo projects. Yet miraculously, Harvey has squeezed space into his forever-packed schedule to steadily build-up a distinctive – if low-key – solo repertoire. So far this has consisted of several acclaimed independent film scores, two underrated English-translation Serge Gainsbourg tribute albums, and finally in 2005 the release of One Man’s Treasure, a record featuring Harvey’s own self-penned songs sitting alongside handpicked selections from the catalogues of his contemporaries and heroes. Now, after a relatively short gap – punctuated by the launch of a compilation of his last decade of soundtrack work entitled Motion Picture Music 1994-2005 – comes Harvey’s official sequel to One Man’s Treasure, the rousing and confident Two of Diamonds. Like One Man’s Treasure, this latest solo long-player is built around Harvey’s own songs and some curious cover choices, but this time around he’s backed by some skilled accomplices to give the material much more edge, greater atmosphere and – crucially – to shake the feeling that Harvey is just indulging himself in his home studio. Thus, James Johnston (The Bad Seeds, Gallon Drunk) adds prowling organ throughout, Thomas Wydler (Die Haut, The Bad Seeds) provides proficient non-rock percussion, Rob Ellis (PJ Harvey) contributes piano/drum parts, Julitha Ryan (Silver Ray) adds more piano and backing vocals, and the unknown Rosie Westbrook drops in delicious double-bass as well as vocals. Whilst Harvey – a multi-instrumentalist of considerable renown – could have played everything himself again, having an empathic but elastic backing ensemble on-hand frees him up to concentrate on his undervalued guitar-playing and upon elevating his vocal presence above its default dry Antipodean murmur. This isn’t to say that Two of Diamonds is a demonstrative barnstorming rave-up, but there’s certainly far more meat on the bones here than on its predecessor. The diverse set of songs collected for Two of Diamonds undoubtedly benefits from a greater range of arrangements and tempos than the somewhat linear line of attack adopted on One Man’s Treasure. The raw serrated acoustic sound Harvey helped Cave find for 1992’s Henry’s Dream makes a welcome return for the harder/faster moments; notably on the terrific reinterpretation of David McComb’s post-Triffids obscurity “Everything Is Fixed”, a dark twangy makeover of Bill Withers’ “I Don’t Want You On My Mind” and a stormy disembowelling of Die Haut’s “Sad Dark Eyes”. Harvey hasn’t let the bleakly beautiful side of his muse slide however; quite the contrary in fact. The sublime dreamy version of Emmylou Harris’ “Here I Am” arguably trumps the original, Harvey’s own “Blue Arrows” and “Little Star” could have slipped nicely into Cave’s The Good Son or The Boatman’s Call and Crime & The City Solution’s “Home Is Far From Here” is transported from its previously murky ‘80s gothic incarnation to somewhere far more affecting and approachable. Amidst these harsh and gentile moments, Harvey finds room for a few compelling curveballs. His magnificent treatment of “Slow-Motion-Movie-Star” - a rare PJ Harvey song - bleeds waves of coruscating keyboards into nervy acoustic strumming; in the process furtively fantasizing about Suicide’s Martin Rev ruthlessly producing a Tindersticks album. Perhaps even more uncharacteristic of Harvey’s musical pedigree is having Manu Chao’s “Out of Time Man” reborn with hilariously fruity organ lines and jaunty sing-along vocals, as if it were The Kinks’ “Sunny Afternoon” being played by Serge Gainsbourg’s ‘60s session musicians - no, really. Although Two of Diamonds won’t exactly push Mick Harvey out beyond his pre-existing and inherited fanbase – with it still being so imbued with the tried and trusted trappings of the sprawling Nick Cave family tree - it does deserve to be viewed as far more than just a side-project to keep a few stray Bad Seeds members busy whilst their employer rediscovers his libido with Grinderman. In fact, aside from the recent Grinderman debut, this dark alluring affair is arguably the best Bad Seeds spin-off set since Barry Adamson’s opulent Oedipus Schoemdipus or Gallon Drunk’s incendiary In The Long Still Night - which for those in the know, is high-praise indeed. " -Adrian P.04/23/07

Crazy, I Tell Ya...

2007-06-29T20:41:00.000-04:00

Yup. Crazy. Blinkin' Crazy.

Fetus Joe Goes Bananas!

2007-06-28T23:49:00.000-04:00

I thought long and hard (heh heh) about whether or not to stick a banana in the horse's bum. It's just so darned obvious a thing to do. You want a cheap laugh? Stick a banana in someone's hind quarters! Or have them visit a proctologist! I mean, that's FUNNY! Right? RIGHT!? I don't think it's naturally funny, just like I don't think the mere act of slipping on a banana-peel (or toy car, or grease, or anything else used in the Home Alone movies and their countless imitators) is funny. I suppose it's all about context. But what the heck, I did it anyway.

Fetus Joe vs. Delayed Gratification

2007-06-27T22:56:00.000-04:00

I've recently begun an on-the-side gig doing Photoshop retouching for a Husband-Wife Modeling Photography team. Oh darn. People paying me to sit in front of my computer... What will they think of next?

The Turkey vs. the Puddle

2007-06-26T09:25:00.000-04:00

In a couple cartoons from this one, you'll see the beginnings of my efforts to draw Fetus Joe in a manner more faithful to his original incarnation (which you can see to the right). He's become something of an amorphous alien thing because I never take the time to do it right, and you, my dear readers (all 2 of you) deserve more. Long Live Fetus Joe. The eyeballs on the animal victims, as well, will be smaller. Smaller is more vacant, and funnier.

The Chair... of Duplicity!

2007-06-25T19:48:00.000-04:00

I had a computer scare this afternoon; something was preventing explorer.exe from showing itself. That is, to say, I had no desktop, just a blank blue screen. Good thing I don't completely suck with computers. And good thing the chair of duplicity was there to watch my back!

Fetus Joe: Dinosaur!

2007-06-24T23:58:00.000-04:00

I started to write a big diatribe about the greatness of HBO's Deadwood and FX's The Shield, and the crappiness of network television compared to cable. But I deleted it. Basically, I wanted to say I appreciate shows like these because they tell great and compicated stories in tight little 13-episode season arcs. Less is more. Each episode is fuller and more cinema-like because it isn't watered down with filler episodes meant to keep you slightly interested just before November and May Sweeps, where they advertise that big things are gonna happen, but they never do... Really, though, I love Deadwood and The Shield because of all the cursing and violence. And no show can twist and contort and invert cursing the way Deadwood does. My greatest Television joys are watching Sheriff Bullock or Det. Vic Mackey do an intense slow burn. You can almost see the steam coming out of their ears...

The Ashtray... of Bewilderment!

2007-06-23T16:28:00.000-04:00

I just watched the ending scenes of a movie where Jean-Claude Van Damme fights with Mickey Roarke and a tiger in the Roman Coliseum, while Dennis Rodman looks busy. It concludes with our heroes escaping the exploding Coliseum with Van Damme's baby and Belloq from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" in tow. They shield themselves from the explosions and flames by ducking behind a Coca-Cola vending machine. I would look it up online to find out just what the heck it was, but that would ruin the mystique of the single most strangest bit of cinema I've witnessed since... well, I don't know.

Squirrel vs. Vending Machine

2007-06-22T18:22:00.000-04:00

Congrats to Elizabeth on her new gig. I hope she hummed the "All Things Considered" theme like I suggested. I'm sure that's what got her the job...

Fetus Joe vs. The World

2007-06-21T23:43:00.000-04:00

As my profile to the right states, I'm a little bored right now. So, I've decided to resurrect the character of Fetus Joe and create this Cartoon Blog for my (and your!) enjoyment. Fetus Joe had many great adventures the first go-round, but I feel like he might have a few more in him before he's finished cookin'. For those of you in the know, you may remember that the last time Fetus Joe made an appearance, there were all sorts of crazy gestations going on. Before you ask, let me just say: No. Oh, sweet freakin' Jebus, no. So no silly questions, please. And for those of you who are game, and maybe have a few minutes to kill, and maybe need to clear your minds by exploding cartoon sheep and the like, I'd like to make this interactive... Scan your drawing between 150 and 300dpi and email it to me (or just hand me the drawing if you're standing next to me...). I'll post it along with my drawings. We'll be a team! The Rules: Um... well. Ok, how about this- It doesn't have to be a Fetus Joe cartoon if you don't want it to be. Nothing political (Fetus Joe is too young to understand politics). And, in fact, you don't even have to explode sheep if you don't want to; just gimme weirdness. Non sequiturs. Draw something that you look at, smile, and say, "Now that's some weird shit." OK. First Up. Fetus Joe In: The Pig vs. The Lamp.